Moderate Islam Trek

Boldly going where no democracy has gone before ...

in search of moderate Islam.

(cue theme music ...)

Howard's Log, Stardate 22.7.07:

The USS Australia has received distress calls from starships Enterprise, Britania, and Europa. They all report simultaneous mutinies of their Muslonian crew members. The Muslonians have broken a number of Starfleet protocols by abandoning their uniforms, using their own language, insisting on visual customs and displays of worship, showing intolerance of fellow crew members, forced conversions, and outbreaks of violence.

USS Australia's own small number of Muslonian crew members have been exhibiting early signs of similar behaviour, which I had dismissed as the normal settling-in period of integrating an alien culture. But it seems the Muslonians pose a genuine threat, unlike any other life-form Starfleet has encountered.

Australia has successfully integrated a number of crew members from previously encountered alien life-forms such as the Vulcasians, Romtalians, and Greekons. With heavy casualties over the years, however, Starfleet's original crew has been replaced by a mix of various cultures. I fear we may have reached critical mass, where there is no overarching culture into which the Muslonians are forced to integrate.

Six months ago we came upon the Israelians who warned us sternly of a Muslonian uprising if their numbers continue to grow. Admiral Raphael Israeli warned:
Life can become untenable when the Muslonian population of a Starfleet vessel reaches about 10 per cent, as shown by USS France ... When the Muslonian population gets to a critical mass you have problems. That is a general rule, so if it applies everywhere it applies on USS Australia ... Where there are large Muslonian populations who are prepared to use violence you are in trouble. If there is only 1 or 2 per cent they don't dare to do it ... French crew say they are strangers on their own vessel. This is a point of no return.
Today I received stark communications from Admiral John Stone (retired) to indicate we may have made a grave error in thinking the Muslonians would be assimilated like other aliens:
... while I am open to correction, I believe the evidence is incontrovertible that Muslonian and Starfleet cultures are today, within any single polity, incompatible. Certainly, I know of no example that can be cited to the contrary ...

There is an old adage that, when you are already in a worm hole, reverse thrusters. The entry into Starfleet of Muslonians over the past thirty-five years or so means that we are now in a hole. The first thing to do, then, is to stop digging. We should curtail very sharply, to the point of virtually halting, the further entry of Muslonians within our immigration programs. That will be attacked as “discriminatory”, and so it is. We have every right to discriminate against the admission to Australia of people of any culture that we believe will be incompatible with the peace, order and good government of our vessel.
So why is Australia boldly going where no democracy has gone before?
Kirk: I take it the odds are against us and the situation is grim.
Picard: You could say that.
Kirk: Sounds like fun!

Fun, huh?

John Stone
Raphael Israeli

The Turkey Paradox - Muslim and Islamophobic

Fatma [reading paper]: Mustafa, the Islamalists are back again. They're back in the schools, the bureaucracy, they want to ban booze, outlaw adultery, and now the president's wife is going to wear a headscarf.

Mustafa: What? Again! Darn, I was going to wash the carpet today! Eighty years of freedom and they still want to go back to sharia. OK, call the army, grab the flags, I'll grab the Ataturk picture and let's hit the streets. A few hundred thousand protestors, a new election, and we'll be sweet.

[reading again]: Mustafa, Mark Steyn says we're doomed.

Mustafa: What? We beat the Australians, we can handle the Islamists. The army will fix it like they always do.

Fatma: No, listen ...
Since the collapse of the Ottoman Empire, there have been two Turkeys: the Turks of Rumelia, or European Turkey, and the Turks of Anatolia, or Asia Minor. Kemal Ataturk was from Rumelia and so were most of his supporters, and they imposed the modern Turkish Republic on a somewhat relunctant Anatolia, where Ataturk’s distinction between the state and Islam was never accepted. In its 80-year history, the population has increased from 14 million in 1923 to 70 million today, but the vast bulk of that population growth has come from Anatolia, whose population has migrated from the rural hinterland to overwhelm the once solidly Kemalist cities.

Ataturk’s modern secular Turkey has simply been outbred by fiercely Islamic Turkey. That’s a lesson in demography from an all-Muslim sample: no pasty white blokes were involved. So the fact that Muslim fertility is declining in Tunisia is no consolation: all that will do, as in Turkey, is remove moderate Muslims from the equation too early in the game.
Mustafa: (sigh) Damn those moderates! Fools! Trojans! Oymen was right ...
Onur Oymen of the secularist Republican People’s Party recently denied that the secularist ralliers represented “moderate Islam.” He declared: “You can’t have democracy without secularism. The notion of moderate Islam to check radical Islam is nonsense. This idea being promoted by certain countries should be abandoned.”


So, will the fiercely Islamic likewise start a breeding race in Australia?
Sheik exhorts Muslims to out-breed non-believers

At a Muslim information centre in Coburg [Victoria] ... Many CDs and DVDs there feature London sheik Abdul Raheem Green, who is on an Australian Government watchlist. On one he tells his audience to Islamise Australia through a Muslim baby boom.

"The birth rate in the Western countries is going down. People are more interested in their careers . . . they don't want to have babies," Sheik Green says in one DVD.

"So don't you think, Muslim brothers and sisters, we've got a bit of an opportunity here? They're not having babies any more. So what if, instead, we have the babies? ...

"To say I'm going to have two or three children and that's it -- that's not allowed. The way we overcome the people is through our numbers."

How do Turkey and the West defend themselves against a fundamentalist baby boom?

The Turkey Paradox
One million rally for secularism, democracy
Can Turkey Resist Islamification?
Sheik exhorts Muslims to out-breed non-believers

Mohammed: Top of the Pops


: Is that a bomb in your bag?

: What? I should be asking you that question.

Muslim: Oh, but no. Haven't you heard the news?

: What?

: Mohammed will be the most popular boys name in Britain this year. Look ...

Mohammed Top Name This Year

MOHAMMED is likely to be the most popular name for baby boys in Britain by the end of the year, according to new data ...

... it ranks second, only behind Jack, according to The Times ...

... if the growth of the name Mohammed continues - it rose by 12 per cent last year - the name will take the top spot by the end of this year."

Muslim: Don't you feel odd, dressed like that?

What? You're the one dressed like a post-box!

Muslim: I'm just concerned that you will suffer discrimination for choosing to express your minority culture.

Yeah, right, whatever.

Is that a doctor's bag? Are you a doctor?

Oh, god. No, I'm not a doctor!

Muslim: Well, one can't be too careful these days with minority doctors ...

Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'll be a minority soon.

Well, you Muslims sure did a fine job of integrating, didn't you?

Bollocks! It was your own fault. You should have listened to Melanie Phillips ...

Multiculturalism has produced furthermore two particularly lethal effects. First, it has left all immigrants abandoned, and none more lethally so than young Muslims. For if there is no longer an overarching culture, there is nothing into which minorities can integrate ...

Second, and worse still, multiculturalism has reversed the notions of truth and lies, victim and victimiser. Since minorities can do no wrong, they cannot be held responsible for acts such as suicide bombings which must instead be the fault of their victims. This key confusion, which has caused intellectual and moral paralysis in the west, plays directly into the pathological Muslim victim culture which makes dialogue impossible ... This fundamental untruth has created a dialogue of the demented.

: Are you finished gloating?


What now?

Muslim: You should have also listened to Winston Churchill ...

If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you with only a precarious chance of survival. There may be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is not hope of victory at all, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

Put down the finger


The adventures of Aussie Sharon, on a working holiday in Britain ...

Today Sharon has some casual work as a teller for a well-known bank in London. She is serving customers when a man with a long beard and religious dress enters. He waits patiently in the queue until served.

Sharon: May I help you?

Man: [raises finger and whispers] Give me all your money.

Sharon: [pauses, then pretends to raise her hands in shock] Wooo! Don't hurt me Mr Sheik. I'll do whatever you say ... ha, ha, good one. Now, what will it be, deposit or withdrawal?

[eyes widen] Give me all your money! Now!

Sharon: OK, mate. Very funny, now how I can help you?

[shouts and waves finger] I warn you! I will use it!

Sharon: Look mate, get your hand off it, I ain't got all day to play silly buggers - now what's it gonna be?

Polly: [madly pressing alarm button, walks from next window] Shaz, he's got a finger, do what he says!

Sharon: As if! Tell him he's dreamin. Tell him to stick his finger where the sun don't shine.

Polly: Do you live on an island or something? If he starts preaching hate with that finger people will die! Haven't you heard the polls?

Muslim Britain split over 'martyrs' of 7/7

13% of British Muslims think that the four men who carried out the London Tube and bus bombings of July 7, 2005, should be regarded as “martyrs”

7% agree that suicide attacks on civilians in the UK can be justified in some circumstances

2% would be proud if a family member decided to join al-Qaeda

Polly: If he starts preaching hate, those numbers will go up and people will die. Give him the money!

One in four Muslims sympathises with motives of terrorists

... six per cent insist that the bombings were ... fully justified. Six per cent may seem a small proportion but in absolute numbers it amounts to about 100,000 individuals who, if not prepared to carry out terrorist acts, are ready to support those who do.

the proportion ... who ... have some sympathy with the feelings and motives of those who carried them out is considerably larger - 24 per cent.

A substantial majority, 56 per cent, say that, whether or not they sympathise with the bombers, they can at least understand why some people might want to behave in this way.

Man: [turns to crowd] You know, I don't care much for this English weather - it's awfully cold, don't you think?

Crowd: [gasps in horror. Presses back against wall. All except a little girl]

Girl: I feel the cold too. The mornings are bitterly hard. [walks to man, transfixed]

Polly: Stop it! I'm packing the money!

Man: And you know, I don't care much for David Beckham. In fact, you might say I hate him!

Crowd: [screams in horror. All except a little boy]

Boy: I never liked him after he left Manchester United. [raises finger] I hate him too! I hate him! [walks to man, transfixed]

Polly: [to Sharon] Look what you've done! He's got two haters already!! Start packing money you idiot!! Mi5 can't cope as it is ...

Too many terrorist plots to name, say Mi5

Mi5 is now tracking so many suspected terrorists that it has run out of codenames for them.

... officers are aware of more than 1,600 people in Britain who could pose a terrorist threat, and fear that up to 30 credible terrorist plots are under way ...

Tony Blair ... said: "We need to combat the poisonous propaganda of those people that warps and perverts the minds of younger people."

4,000 suspected jihadists in UK

Up to 4,000 terrorism suspects and their supporters are active in Britain, the former Metropolitan Police Commissioner Lord Stevens said yesterday ...

Lord Stevens said the security service MI5 had recently suggested a figure of 2,000 but the true number was "probably nearer 4,000".

Police and MI5 were "still too underfunded and undermanned to cope with the task they face in the decades to come ..."

Police: [on megaphone] This is the police! We have the place surrounded. There is no escape. Put the finger down and come out with your hands in your pockets.

Man: [shouts] I hate the police! I hate the government! I hate you all! I hate you! I hate you! [boy and girl join in shouting] I hate you! I hate you!

Police Sniper: I have the shot. Awaiting order.

Man: I hate Paris Hilton!


Police: Hold that shot ....

Man: I said "I hate Paris Hilton"!


Man: I hate the Supernanny! I hate the Osbournes!

Police: He's out of ammo! Go! Go! Go!

Senior figures in Australia's national security establishment believe the nation is on course to emulate Britain, where there are simply too many Islamic extremists for security services to monitor.

Is Australia on course to get held up by the finger?

Muslim Britain split over 'martyrs' of 7/7
One in four Muslims sympathises with motives of terrorists
Too many terrorist plots to name, say MI5
4,000 terror suspects in UK
Arrests just give us more to fear